David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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