even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
