Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My Sexting was not on an AP level
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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