so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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