I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
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