im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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