I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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