Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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