I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
