True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
