I'm jealous of your bromance
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
