I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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