i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize