I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I am naked and annoyed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
