I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
