I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
