I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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