Girls should come with a carfax report
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize