Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
