My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
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She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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