dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
