just survived the first fart of the relationship.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
