do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
