seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
