You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize