On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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