Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
how drunk are you?
Several
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize