you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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