I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
