just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
