Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
