Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
