is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
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Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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