And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
