I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize