never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
