If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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