absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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