Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
