***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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