put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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