If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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