I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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