what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
