well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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