I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i need some magic done to my vagina
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
