I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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