Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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