How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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