She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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