I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
