weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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