when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
