I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
