Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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