ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
