so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
