Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
