dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
worst night to have a conscience
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
