wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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