I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
