Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
operation harelip BJ is a go
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
