i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
