belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
