she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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